From the Mind of Mesilla

Mommy, Mate, Me!

Merry Christmas December 24, 2010

Filed under: Churchy Posts,Little Man,Miscellaneous — mesillam @ 3:33 pm

We are having a wonderful Christmas season!  We got to visit extended family last weekend and had a great time.  I am so blessed to have so many fun and loving aunts, uncles and cousins.  Even though I don’t see them as much as I would like, I love that with family, you can just pick up like you saw them yesterday.  I am so glad that Little Man has cousins  and I hope they will be close as they grow up.  He has another one due pretty soon!  I pray that your family is blessed this Christmas and that we can all remember the reason for the season.  As thankful as I am for family, I am the most thankful that my Savior chose to come to this earth to save us.  I love that He chose to come in such as sweet way, as a baby, and amid the fun, food and family (and presents!), I am taking time to remember the best present of all!

Merry Christmas!


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Community November 18, 2010

Filed under: Churchy Posts — mesillam @ 10:00 pm

I will start off by saying, I am shy, which makes me terrible at being social and I feel uncomfortable in most interpersonal situations.  It takes me a long time to open up and make friends  I haven’t shared this blog with anyone except my husband because even that is too vulnerable for me.  All of that is to say, the past few months have been a growing experience for me in the way of friendships and community.

We moved our church membership about a year ago, in part, because we had not been very successful at becoming part of a community at our old church.  We tried several different avenues, but just didn’t “click” with any groups there.  I absolutely do not think that church is for socialization, but fellowship is one of the five purposes of the church and I think some of the other purposes can be more effective if you have good fellowship.  (The five purposes are worship, instruction, fellowship, evangelism and ministry.)  Our new church does “Life Groups” and we joined one shortly after joining the church.  It took us a while to break into the group, at no fault of the other group members.  We had other activities sometimes on the night the group meets and had other things going on.

I think it was just before Little Man was born that we started getting more involved and bonding with the group.  Hubby has especially been instrumental in this.  He is much more social than I am and started making friends with some of the men in the group.  In the past few months, we have started going out to dinner or doing other activities with different couples in the group. outside of our normal Life Group meeting.  For the first time since college, I feel like I am actually making friends.  I really feel like part of a community.  It is awesome!  I know that I can lean on any of the other small group members and would love to be there for any of them.  It is also so much fun to see them love Little Man and get excited about watching him grow up.  Our Life Group members are becoming family, like church members should be!  My family lives in other towns.  Hubby’s family lives here, but it is fun growing our family to include our church friends.

I have both had tough experiences with friends in the past, which is why it is hard for me to be vulnerable.  (If you don’t have friends, they can’t hurt you.)  But I am slowly letting down the walls and opening up.  And it is so worth it!


Self Worth November 15, 2010

Filed under: Churchy Posts,Little Man — mesillam @ 11:59 pm

I am officially changing direction on the blog.  It felt too shallow.

It has been a while since I posted anything and to be honest, I haven’t kept up with my FlyLady tasks very well.  I am definitely better than I used to be at keeping my house up, but I’m still not as good as I should be.  For a while, I could have people over any time.  The house was always picked up and company ready.  That was a great feeling.  I felt like a great wife and homemaker.

Then Little Man started having seasonal allergy symptoms and teething (just laying down roots, no teeth yet).  He was fussy, clingy and did not want to be put down.  He also went from sleeping through the night to waking up at least once, but sometimes three times at night and taking 45 minute naps instead of hour and a half or longer naps.  So we have both been pretty tired.  I didn’t get any housework done when he was awake and for the short time he did nap, I just wanted some “me time” and vacuuming was the last thing I wanted to do.

Thankfully, last night he slept for NINE hours straight!  He hadn’t done that in weeks.  I was so thankful.  Then he napped for two and a half hours plus took two more 45 minute naps.  After getting that much sleep, I was rested enough to feel like doing housework.  I got all of the Christmas presents wrapped, the whole house picked up and the laundry folded.  We have way too many clothes, so I only do laundry once a month.  It is a TON of laundry to fold and put away, so I had been procrastinating since Tuesday, but I got it all folded.  It felt great!  And I felt much better about myself.

Then I sat back and thought about it.  Should I really get my self esteem from the cleanliness of my house?  Yes, a dirty, cluttered house could be an indication of a lot of negative characteristics and a clean house could indicate some positive ones.  But a cluttered house could also mean that I spent more time cuddling my sick little boy than loading the dishwasher.  Isn’t that what I should be doing?  Little Man is my priority, after my relationship with Christ and my husband and they would rather me take care of him than keep the house perfect at all times.  (I realized all of the sudden that I had blogged about this same topic already.  It was on day five of FlyLady’s Beginner Baby Steps.  Will I ever learn?)

After I felt better about myself because I was taking good care of Little Man, even if the house wasn’t perfect, I thought about it some more, because, my worth doesn’t even come from being a good mom.  My worth only comes from being a child of God.  I am never going to be perfect even if the house and my son are perfect (which they never will be).  It is not possible.  I should strive to follow Christ and I think that means taking care of my responsibilities, but it is guaranteed that I will fail.  Even then, I am loved by my King.  He chose me.  That should be enough to never have self esteem issues!

Here are some pictures of my little guy from Halloween and the pumpkin patch.  He was the cutest little candy corn!