From the Mind of Mesilla

Mommy, Mate, Me!

Thankful November 24, 2010

Filed under: Little Man,Miscellaneous — mesillam @ 12:44 pm

It was on the Sunday before Thanksgiving last year that we found out we were expecting Little Man.  While I was certainly very thankful then, I am even more so this year.  Here are just twelve of the many things I have been thankful for in the past twelve months.  (They are very baby centered, but that has pretty much been my life for the past twelve months.)


1. a healthy pregnancy (up until the very end)

2. maternity jeans (I miss these already)

3. excellent medical care when I developed severe preeclampsia and had to be induced immediately

4. a quick and easy labor (seriously.  It was less than two hours.  I will tell that story some time.)

5. a beautiful baby boy, who was perfectly healthy even though he was born four weeks early and is rarely fussy

6. an awesome husband who loves me unconditionally and changes diapers!

7. a wonderful extended family who loves my baby (almost!) as much as I do

8. a welcoming and friendly new church family (especially my fantastic Life Group)

9. Starbucks

10. getting to quit my job and be a stay at home mommy

11.  Little Man’s smiles and laughter

12. an awesome God who shows me more grace and mercy than I could ever imagine


All tied up November 22, 2010

Filed under: Miscellaneous — mesillam @ 3:21 pm

I have two younger sisters.  While we definitely had our disagreements when we were growing up, we also had a LOT of fun.  We were homeschooled, so we spent most of the day together.  After our schoolwork was done, we had a lot of free time to fill.  M, the middle sister, and I would occasionally (although if you ask C, the youngest, it was more than occasionally) pick on or just mess with C.  For instance, one time when I was eight-ish M and I convinced C that she was deaf by just moving our mouths and not actually speaking.  C believed us for a little bit, but she was only three or four, so that wasn’t a big accomplishment.  But we (M and I) thought it was hilarious.  We actually still think it is pretty funny.  Another thing we thought was hilarious was to wrap C in a blanket and put her on the doorstep and ring the bell.  My mom would come out and find C like a package waiting for her.  Now, I’m not sure why that was so funny, but we sure thought it was at the time.  I remember doing it a lot.

When I was about thirteen, M was eleven and C was eight, we started tying C to things, the swing outside, trees, etc. and locking her in the pantry or cabinets.  M and I know that she really was okay with it and was quite cooperative.  C remembers not being quite so into it, but she totally was.  One time, we blindfolded her, tied her legs together and tied her arms together and then weren’t sure what to do with her.  That seems like something we should have thought of first.  We put her on the sofa until we figured out our next move.  Then we left the room, for a reason I can’t remember now.  For another unknown reason, C decided to roll and fell off the couch, I think hitting her head on the coffee table on the way down.  She got so mad at us and still is, to this day.  But M and I think she has no reason to be mad.  She knew she was on the couch.  She shouldn’t have rolled off.  That was just dumb.  It was so not our fault.

Now my sisters and I all live in different cities.  M lives halfway across the country.  M has two little girls and I think they are starting to do the same kinds of things silly that we did.  I really hope Little Man has siblings and that they get into messes like we did.  Good times.


Community November 18, 2010

Filed under: Churchy Posts — mesillam @ 10:00 pm

I will start off by saying, I am shy, which makes me terrible at being social and I feel uncomfortable in most interpersonal situations.  It takes me a long time to open up and make friends  I haven’t shared this blog with anyone except my husband because even that is too vulnerable for me.  All of that is to say, the past few months have been a growing experience for me in the way of friendships and community.

We moved our church membership about a year ago, in part, because we had not been very successful at becoming part of a community at our old church.  We tried several different avenues, but just didn’t “click” with any groups there.  I absolutely do not think that church is for socialization, but fellowship is one of the five purposes of the church and I think some of the other purposes can be more effective if you have good fellowship.  (The five purposes are worship, instruction, fellowship, evangelism and ministry.)  Our new church does “Life Groups” and we joined one shortly after joining the church.  It took us a while to break into the group, at no fault of the other group members.  We had other activities sometimes on the night the group meets and had other things going on.

I think it was just before Little Man was born that we started getting more involved and bonding with the group.  Hubby has especially been instrumental in this.  He is much more social than I am and started making friends with some of the men in the group.  In the past few months, we have started going out to dinner or doing other activities with different couples in the group. outside of our normal Life Group meeting.  For the first time since college, I feel like I am actually making friends.  I really feel like part of a community.  It is awesome!  I know that I can lean on any of the other small group members and would love to be there for any of them.  It is also so much fun to see them love Little Man and get excited about watching him grow up.  Our Life Group members are becoming family, like church members should be!  My family lives in other towns.  Hubby’s family lives here, but it is fun growing our family to include our church friends.

I have both had tough experiences with friends in the past, which is why it is hard for me to be vulnerable.  (If you don’t have friends, they can’t hurt you.)  But I am slowly letting down the walls and opening up.  And it is so worth it!


Self Worth November 15, 2010

Filed under: Churchy Posts,Little Man — mesillam @ 11:59 pm

I am officially changing direction on the blog.  It felt too shallow.

It has been a while since I posted anything and to be honest, I haven’t kept up with my FlyLady tasks very well.  I am definitely better than I used to be at keeping my house up, but I’m still not as good as I should be.  For a while, I could have people over any time.  The house was always picked up and company ready.  That was a great feeling.  I felt like a great wife and homemaker.

Then Little Man started having seasonal allergy symptoms and teething (just laying down roots, no teeth yet).  He was fussy, clingy and did not want to be put down.  He also went from sleeping through the night to waking up at least once, but sometimes three times at night and taking 45 minute naps instead of hour and a half or longer naps.  So we have both been pretty tired.  I didn’t get any housework done when he was awake and for the short time he did nap, I just wanted some “me time” and vacuuming was the last thing I wanted to do.

Thankfully, last night he slept for NINE hours straight!  He hadn’t done that in weeks.  I was so thankful.  Then he napped for two and a half hours plus took two more 45 minute naps.  After getting that much sleep, I was rested enough to feel like doing housework.  I got all of the Christmas presents wrapped, the whole house picked up and the laundry folded.  We have way too many clothes, so I only do laundry once a month.  It is a TON of laundry to fold and put away, so I had been procrastinating since Tuesday, but I got it all folded.  It felt great!  And I felt much better about myself.

Then I sat back and thought about it.  Should I really get my self esteem from the cleanliness of my house?  Yes, a dirty, cluttered house could be an indication of a lot of negative characteristics and a clean house could indicate some positive ones.  But a cluttered house could also mean that I spent more time cuddling my sick little boy than loading the dishwasher.  Isn’t that what I should be doing?  Little Man is my priority, after my relationship with Christ and my husband and they would rather me take care of him than keep the house perfect at all times.  (I realized all of the sudden that I had blogged about this same topic already.  It was on day five of FlyLady’s Beginner Baby Steps.  Will I ever learn?)

After I felt better about myself because I was taking good care of Little Man, even if the house wasn’t perfect, I thought about it some more, because, my worth doesn’t even come from being a good mom.  My worth only comes from being a child of God.  I am never going to be perfect even if the house and my son are perfect (which they never will be).  It is not possible.  I should strive to follow Christ and I think that means taking care of my responsibilities, but it is guaranteed that I will fail.  Even then, I am loved by my King.  He chose me.  That should be enough to never have self esteem issues!

Here are some pictures of my little guy from Halloween and the pumpkin patch.  He was the cutest little candy corn!